Last Of A Dying Breed

I wish I could say that we’re the last of a dying breed,

Generations of mental and emotional suicide,

Keeps us from understanding what life really means…

What our life really needs,

How holding on to the pain really feeds,

On our hopes and dreams,

Our self-esteem…

Too much pride, we rather struggle alone than to win as a team,

Damn!

I’ll say it again…

I hope we’re the last of a dying breed.

See, we live in a generation where an expression of self,

Is an admission of guilt…

Guilty that what we feel is suffering,

Guilty that what we feel is pain, 

Guilty that our brain is different,

Guilty that we’re afraid to be labeled with ignorant names.

But why should we care about how YOU feel?

When we’re the one struggling with a pain that’s so real…

A pain that’s eating us away but we still choose to conceal,

Man, fuck this stigma. I’m tired of hearing that “this isn’t a big deal”.

See why I hope that we’re the last of a dying breed?

You see, this is killing me…

The idea of losing the best parts that we never got to see,

The idea of living up to an image that we gotta be,

In an environment that contradicts that our choice is FREE!

A combination of disaster that changes our psychology,

Decisions based on the trauma of our history…

Affecting our progression, that’s our misery,

It’s about time we start dealing with our tragedy!

I said it…

I hope we’re the last of a dying bread,

So it’s about time that I tell you what I really mean…

When you feel, be sure that you really feel!

When you heal, be sure that you know it’s real!

For holding on to pain doesn’t give you closure,

And ignoring it doesn’t make you any stronger.

Crying doesn’t make you any weaker,

Nor does embracing your conscience when it tells you to speak up!

So feel, heal, love and cry,

For no longer should sad faces hide behind a smile,

When there are ways we can really feel alive inside…

She Just Wants To Live

……..what is she to do?

Growing up in a world where she’s judged by everything assumed, but nothing that’s true.

Her person, her character, her actions……HER LIFE,

All that she is, taken away from her by HIS words.

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She wakes up everyday just as everyone does,

Happy and confident

….until she remembers how yesterday was.

She’s haunted….traumatized….

By the reality…..

Not HER reality, but the reality of the society she lives in.

 

No one knows her but herself,

No one understands her but herself.

Her life is an open book, every page filled with words,

But yet when HE reads her, who she is cannot be heard.

He erases her story and writes HIS own,

Smudged ink stains all over, scratching away all of her that she’s known.

 

HE tries to devaluate the human that she is, the woman that she is!

 

WOMAN! A word that holds a magnitude of meaning,

A word that is being misinterpreted for no reason.

This woman isn’t trying to be better than him,

But yet his insecurities needs satisfaction with a win…

That’s why he forces her to compete…

…..in a system that bets against her, the same one that labels her inferior and incomplete.

 

Such ignorant labels given to her by this “strong” man……

He calls himself that, hiding and cowering behind who he truly is……..WEAK!

So you tell me!

How can you blame her for being traumatized?

 

When, as she leaves her home, she’s being followed by judgmental eyes,

She’s being accused and singled out by bias, justified by systematic lies.

Being twisted and bent not to test her flexibility,

But to reach the breaking point of her entirety.

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She’s not hopeless, she just hopes less….

She wants as much fun as he has,

She wants the same opportunities that he gets,

She works just as hard as he does……

But yet it’s still not enough.

 

……what is she to do when…?

He explores all corners of his imagination and gets a pat on the back,

But if she dares to explore all corners of her room, her reputation is attacked.

 

Fuckin’ double standards….

Fuckin’ coward……

Fuckin’ WEAK!

 

But despite this,

Despite knowing what she knows,

Despite these intolerable acts against her,

She gets up every morning, gets dressed and faces the world!

………she refuses to let him win even when the odds are against her.

She’s a survivor….NO…she LIVES!

Because she has the strength of a WOMAN!!

There’s No Place Like Home

Home is where the heart is.

He’s drifting away…….! Far beyond what he knows, far beyond where he wants to be and even further beyond where his thoughts can take him. He’s lost beyond words can explain, lost beyond his own understanding, so far gone that he can feel insanity clenching while he’s still trying to keep a tight grip on his sanity.

He’s almost lost beyond the point of no return but he refuses to admit it out loud or to himself, he refuses to accept that he’s lost his way! Too much pride and too much sadness, he clings to what little hope he has  bottled up and powers through what seems to be HOPELESSNESS! As his brain fights to grab hold of the words, they manage to slip between the grasp and everything that clouds his mind remains unheard.

BUT he’s still determined and trying to get back home…..

To a place of comfort, to a place of security; to a place of trust, to a place where he’s free. Free from the sadness, free from loneliness, free from the burden and free from this journey that seems to have no destination. You see, he knows where home is or where it’s supposed to be, but he just doesn’t know how to get there. He’s a homeless man walking a path with no map, no compass and no plan but getting there.

Man In The Rain

There’s a well known quote that says “when it rains it pours”. This quote resonates so much with him because it’s just those nights, those rainy nights a temptation begins to overwhelm him, a temptation that whispers to him, “young man it’s cold outside, just knock on the door of one of these beautiful houses and seek shelter”. He’s only human so he considers the option. He considers how tired his feet are and how cold & wet outside has been. He considers how tough it has been walking streets night after night and alone. Regardless of it all, his HOPE and DESIRE to be HOME allows him to walk past all of these open doors without setting foot on the doorstep.

He isn’t guided by the obvious instruments that are granted to us to see, he uses what not even eyes can see and that’s the DESTINATION. Now, close your eyes and open your heart: The home that he seeks isn’t a structure nor is it a building, it’s a place where his mind, body and soul can live and feel fulfilled, for fulfillment is part of what he seeks.

Despite what I just told you, the home he seeks, HIS home that he is seeking is surrounded by walls. These walls stretch long and tall, as tall as Jericho’s and just as those, he is determined they too will fall.

You see, he’s not intimidated by any obstacle that stands in his way, as long as he finds himself on the right side of them. In most cases he prefers to be on the outside of walls, but in this case he seeks comfort on the inside. He’s a man seeking shelter and comfort, so all he really wants is to be trapped in a place he calls home!

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He just wants to be trapped in your love..........

Art Inspires – Dancing With BB

If you google the meaning of ‘ART’, you’ll come across several definitions. But you know, of all the definitions that I’ve come across, the one that captures the meaning most to me is: “Art is an expression of our thoughts, emotions, intuitions, and desires, but it is even more personal than that: it’s about sharing the way we experience the world, which for many is an extension of personality” – Joseph Nieters.

Today, I have the great pleasure of telling you a short story of one of the young talented artist born on the island of  on Sint Maarten. For quite some time I’ve seen her art, I’ve seen her adventure, and I’ve seen her results. But you know, that’s just it,  looking from the outside you only see the results and not the process. From what I’ve seen before, I’ve had quite a positive image of her, and from the insight I’ve gained during our interview, that image only got more positive. If I could use one word to describe this young lady I would use: INSPIRING – TALENTED – AMBITIOUS – IMPRESSIVE – DETERMINED or DREAMER. Okay, I may have gotten a little carried away, but it’s just to show that one word isn’t enough to describe this young talent and you’ll see why! So……, just who is this young talent? 

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Some of you may recognize who this young lady is from the picture above and some may not. So I’d still like to reintroduce to some and introduce to others this 20 year old, soon to be 21 (she’s quite excited for the Blackjack number hahahaha), Bianca Adriana Dijkhoffz. Bianca was kind enough to give me some of her time to answer some questions and also share her journey with me. I must say, the insight she gave me on her dancing evolution over the years along with her journey was very inspirational.

To be honest, I always pictured Bianca as a baby dancing her way out of the womb. When I saw her dance, I could only think of a person being deeply obsessed and dedicated from birth. I thought of a child that was born with a dream to dance. Surprising enough, this wasn’t exactly the case with Bianca.

Apart from dancing, Bianca was very much involved in other sports and activities such as: swimming  and taekwondo. Doesn’t sound as though dancing was the clear path for her, right? You see, Bianca didn’t become a dancer because it was an “inherited passion,  she found herself becoming a dancer more because it was an “inherited trend.  Bianca has 2 older sisters who are both dancers, who were dancers at the time she was 5, so for her it just seemed natural to join the trend and become a dancer.

It was very surprising and unexpected to hear from Bianca how late in her life dancing became such a pivotal aspect. It wasn’t until her early teenage years that she grew a sensational passion for dancing. During her first 10 years of dancing, until she was about the age 15/ 16, Bianca danced to a different beat. She started out dancing Ballet and Jazz, and eventually as she got older her path in dance styles changed.bb 2

Bianca spent a lot of her years dancing Ballet and Jazz, which eventually changed after seeing her sister dance for one of local Talent Showdowns. Bianca’s sister scrapped the script on Bianca’s Ballet story when Bianca saw her dancing to a more modern and HipHop style. Her sister’s fluency, style, and passion inspired Bianca to explore new styles and set a new goal for herself, which was to one day be on that stage.

Not being exposed much to HipHop style dancing, Bianca spent most of her time creating new choreography and teaching herself the art of HipHop dancing. But luckily, there were other fish in the sea exploring the same waters. Bianca connected with a few friends through her journey that all had a passion for HipHop dancing and worked together to develop their craft. For Bianca, every person and every group she danced with, was a different experience and that gave her valuable insight allowing her to constantly learn and grow.

For the most of what Bianca could remember during her life, science and nature has always been 2 fields that she’s been passionate about. She always held a strong interest for psychology, social affairs, animals and plants. These interests motivated her to pursue a science career in high school. During her years in high school Bianca had her obstacles. School didn’t always go as Bianca hoped or planned and that led to some stressful times for her, times where she questioned her future. 180916_203096999700673_4933558_nWith school not going as she hoped, Bianca began to feel demotivated. At that time, dance began to play a more significant role in her life, it became her escape. To Bianca, dancing became her life.

Art has a different meaning to everyone, and everyone has their own reason for what they do. To Bianca, dancing isn’t just a sport, it’s a passion, it’s a job, it’s an escape, it’s her zone where she can express herself and be free. Dancing is her ART!

With high aspirations, her goals became concrete and Bianca eventually decided to follow an opportunity and move to New York to pursue her dancing career.  In her transition to the NEW York scene, life was falling into place for her. Bianca was exposed to a wider scope of dance and she was learning new styles while perfecting her craft. Her motivation pushed her to new limits, new limits that got her signed to a dance agency. Bianca was where she was destined to be! But despite the fact that life was falling in place, Bianca wasn’t adjusting as she expected. Everything was changing so fast and she wasn’t adjusting well to the new atmosphere.

Bianca made incredible strides and she was getting to where she wanted to be, but she still wasn’t there as yet. Overwhelmed by the change, frustrated by the progress and missing home, she decided to move back to Sint Maarten. Although her move was a step backwards, going back home granted Bianca time to re-evaluate her life and to decide on the path she wanted to pursue. Surrounded by supportive friends, family and beautiful beaches (MulletBay to be exact), Bianca got her mind set. She took a step backwards, but she never gave up and that helped her to move forward. Full of ambition, motivation, and a clear path in sight, she returned to New York and got herself back on track to pursuing her dream. Bianca was now able to find the comfort she needed in this new atmosphere and she was able to find the strength she needed to keep moving forward. After a year and a half, driven by her passion, Bianca was able to get herself signed to the agency that she wanted and her hard work was starting to pay off!

Redhead on Tour….!       ツアーで赤毛 –  Tsuā de akage

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Have you ever had a dream so unimaginable that you woke up disappointed that it was all just a dream? Can you imagine waking up from that dream and being able to continue living it FOR REAL? If you can’t, you should probably ask this young lady how it feels!

Being signed to her agency, Bianca was able to audition to be part of a dance group that would tour alongside a praised Japanese group, across Japan. At the New York location where she auditioned and competed against 40 other dancers, she kept positive and she just did what she had been training to do. She did what she loved to do, she DANCED! Apart from the 40 dancers in New York competing for the spot, there were 200 other dancers auditioning in LA to go on tour. I still don’t know how she was able to keep her composure and dance with all the pressure…..but she did. Eventually when all was done it was just a matter of waiting until the day of the results are in.

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SPOILER ALERT!!

That’s right, Bianca made the cut!!

She was expecting the news via email, so you can imagine hearing notifications all week made her anxious thinking that every notification is THE email that will determine a lifetime experience. Well, one of those notifications Bianca got was exactly that. As Bianca checked her phone, she saw a notification pop up with a subject saying “CONGRATULATIONS”. O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-E-D!!!! Bianca could not believe she was granted this opportunity. This was it, it was her time!

Bianca, along with the other selected dancers, danced alongside J SOUL BROTHERS (JSB GLOBAL) around Japan. She described this vividly as a life-changing experience. It was a humbling experience for her to be able to dance in front of a crowd of 50,000 people every night. And for their first time on stage being introduced by JSB, they were feeling both excited and nervous at the same time. The crowd wasn’t used to having international dancers sharing the stage with their beloved JSB, but they eventually embraced Bianca and the rest of the dancers. Bianca expressed nothing but positive vibes about the people of Japan. She said that she could never have imagined that such a huge place can be filled with so many happy, high-spirited, caring and respectful people. The people of Japan accepted them and expressed their love for them everywhere they went. As their faces began to be exposed more and more, fans began to recognize them and would approach them to say hello and take pictures. Again, “what a humbling experience” she described it as.

At the end of the tour, Bianca was able to learn so much from the Japanese culture and she was able to learn so much more about dance. During her time there she was also able to form new bonds and share her culture. An experience that has touched her for life!!!

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You’d typically think that this combination of positive aspects could only equate to a FOREVER dream, but that isn’t the case here. Bianca is in love with her current phase, she loves her experience, she loves the reality of her dreams, she is living her dream! But despite it all, this isn’t the dream she wants to fall asleep to forever. Bianca is proud and loves what she does very passionately, but she knows this is not the peak of her accomplishments. For Bianca, there’s a time to dance, and her time is now. To her, dancing isn’t her purpose in life, so she has hopes and plans to pick back up where she left off and pursue her passion for science and psychology. When she’s done with dancing, Bianca wants to certify herself in 1, maybe both, of those fields and be able to work for and with people. Bianca feels her purpose is helping people, kids, animals and nature.

I must say, she has big dreams which she will accomplish. But what’s most admirable is her big heart!

In the meantime, Bianca has plans to accomplish as much as she can with dancing. She is striving to do better and to be better. Her goal for 2018 is to push her dancing even further. She is determined to be on the big stage dancing for one of the major award shows such as: AMAs, MTV awards, BET awards or even the VMAs. She is also striving to be featured in music videos and commercials showing the world her talent.

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Bianca Adriana Dijkhoffz is such an inspiration to many, both young and old. She’s not inspirational only because of her results, but she’s inspirational because of her process. This young lady worked hard for where she is right now and DESERVES to be living her dreams.

Even with all the success and accomplishments, she still remembers who she is, and remembers what is important to her. She has been giving back to the community for years in any way that she can, by being part of different groups, whether it be teaching kids the art of dancing or community help. After being back home from her tour, Bianca continues to give back. She has been actively participating in giving dance lessons, sharing inspirational stories and motivating words to different kids at school and in foster homes.

Bianca’s journey is a very inspiring story. She’s 1 example of what it means to strive for your goals. We will not all follow the same path and we will not all have a path already cleared for us, but we are all able to create our own path. There will be obstacles ahead of us and there will be unexpected detours. What matters most is how you deal with it all. Never let a setback discourage you from your plans, dig deep and bounce back harder!!!!!!!!

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Thank you Bianca for sharing your story.

Link to interview: https://www.dropbox.com/s/3dx5sgkjncbws48/Recording.m4a?dl=0

Dear Young Men, Being A Brother Is Practice.

Dear siblings, I’m not sorry to inform you that you’re all experiments.

Young men! Young, caring, loving men. Your life has more meaning than you may know, your role has more effect than you may think, your being has more pressure than you should have, nevertheless, here you are. Generalizing is a very tricky and sensitive way to go about judging who someone is, or in other cases, could be. BUT young men, the evolved status of your brother-ship has been tarnished by many before us, and we must begin to scrub away that stain. You see, being a brother is the first step to becoming a father. There’s a first for both, but there’s only 1 result, and that is to be GREAT at it.

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I’ve been thinking on my role as an older brother for some time now. What I’ve done for my siblings, what I do for them, and also what I will eventually (be able to) do for them. I’m not in any way trying to create a formula or a fixed guideline, I’m simply trying to bring about awareness. My focus is to help you discover just how important you are, and just how important the process is for your siblings and of course yourself.

Before we continue I just want to make one thing clear. When I use the term “brother”, I’m using it as relation by bond and not only by biology. There is no way to run away from your responsibilities, just as there is no way to run away from your influence.

 Being an older brother you will find yourself being quite involved in the lives of your younger siblings. Your role ranges from motivating, emotionally supporting, guiding, you’ll sometimes find yourself being a personal driver and at other times, a bank (of course without the payback part), and believe me when I tell you, the list goes on. It’s all an experience, it’s all an experiment. There’s no one way to be a big brother, there’s no one way to be a parent, but this experience is a start to figure out what works for you.

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So dear young men,

YES, there is be a lot of pressure and there is a lot of responsibility. Someone will always be looking up to you, someone will always be watching you and you will always guide someone, just know that it’s all practice for raising your own (eventually).

It can be easy, but it will be hard. As long as you try, as long as you transform yourself into the right example, as long as you embrace your responsibility, you will make it work. The trick is treating your siblings how you would want to be treated, treating your siblings how you will treat your child(ren), treating your siblings exactly how you want your child (who will become a sibling) to treat their siblings. The first step starts with you, create a trend that inspires positivity!!

And dear siblings,

Just know that being an experiment doesn’t associate itself with negativity. You should be proud to have an older sibling that’s trying to perfect kindness and positive influence on you. Embrace the love and let the positive influence you.

Best wishes,

A brother trying to be a GREAT brother, a brother aspiring to some day be a GREAT father, a brother trying to lead brothers to be BETTER brothers.

Happiness Is Your Compass

As you keep turning or flipping the calendar, you’ll come to a period where you will need to ask yourself a question or 2. Is it a must? No, but it’s a should.

So I’m guessing you’re waiting to read what these questions are, fine! Keep reading then…….Remember, I’m not forcing you, it’s just an opinionated suggestion. 

Question 1: What makes you happy? What are the things that drive you or motivate you?

Question 2: Are you genuinely happy, or are you just being content? Are you settling for your current life status?

Question 3: Are you accomplishing what you want out of life, or what people are expecting of you? Is your life story being written by you or others?

Question: Are you alive or living? It’s one thing to have life, but are you using it?

Now, you may think that these are pretty basic question, which may well be true, but don’t be so quick to judge. Ask yourself how simple they really are.  Are they simple to answer, or are they just simple to read and understand? If you don’t know the answer to a question, you’ll never be able to answer it. You see, the thing about not self-reflecting or evaluating your life is, you become quite unaware. Unaware from the most simple things in your life to the most complex. You become so comfortable with the way your life is going that you sometimes settle and ‘go with the flow’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that this in itself is a bad thing, but ask yourself another question……why settle? 

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Happiness isn’t about being accepting or being okay with your current situation. Happiness is about being where you want to be in every context. Where you want to be physically, mentally…….in general, being where you want to be in life. But to be there you need to know where there is and what it is that makes you happy. You will have family and friends who are ambitious FOR you, they will want FOR you, they will HOPE for you, they will expect FROM you, but at the end of the day they have no idea exactly what it is you really want. Their vision should never be your goal. Not because it looks and sounds good means that your path, there are many other paths that look and sound good. So…..Is that what you really want? Is that where you really want to go? Is that who you want to be? Will that make you happy? As you can see, it all ties in which each other.

You owe it to yourself to be the captain of your own ship, so take control of the wheel and steer your life in the direction that you want to head. You see, true happiness comes from accomplishing your own goals, doing what YOU want to do, being where YOU want to be, and only when you are doing so you are truly living…..LIVING YOUR LIFE! Take some time out and reflect on your life, ask yourself the relevant questions, answer the questions and live your life how you want, you deserve to live your life happy doing what you love.

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